I let go..

2011-10-28T00:22:00.001-06:00

I can't for him to be back. :'(

It is so weird, I usually leave him to go back to Singapore, I would cry at the airport and I would be fine once I get on the plane. But this time around he left me to go back. :(
It is so weird to be without him, I was walking around Walmart and I was so lonely, because we would hang around the toy section and play with the toys there.

2 more night and he would be home.

2011-10-01T00:44:00.003-06:00

I'm happy and blessed with everything and how things are going right now.

I'm really grateful I got a good job in a good clinic, and everything there is amazing and everyone so supporting and funny. But at the back of my mind, I'm scare, scared to know where this will take me.

I'm not making a lot of money, but I'm comfortable where I am right now. Partially it's because I am staying at home and my Dad is taking care of some of my expenses, but I think it's almost time for me to take over some of those.

At the back of my mind, I am always, always dying to keep studying. Although I hate taking all the exams and writing essays, but I like to keep learning, there is just so many things out there. I am taking another course next month, so that will keep me going for a while. :)

But I question where this will lead me and where I'll be.

After Vacation

2011-09-09T16:56:00.002-06:00

There are couple things I hate to look at and do after a good Vacation.

1. If I come back back during the winter, the sad amount of sunlight I get to see, and the cold I have to endure.

2. Unpacking. UN-FUCKING-PACKING.

3. Laundry

4. My credit card.

5. Back work.

As much as I hate everything on the list, but those list keeps me going. The dislike is only temporary, and I actually like going to work and doing things.

I tend to think more after a vacation, like will I still be able to afford this or that, can I still pay this bill?
And recently, I have been reading up on people who have been successful since 22, and I'm thinking when can I be that successful? All these thoughts swirling around my head.
I still want to go back to school.

I need to stop.

Made of

2011-08-01T01:18:00.002-06:00

A couple things to do before my life starts to follow right into place. *cross my fingers*

I have planned to do a couple things in Vancouver, not to many though.
Looking for restaurants to eat at, I should also stop looking for places to eat for 130 in the morning, because I get hungry. FAIL. lol

2011-07-19T00:09:00.002-06:00

Sometimes growing up means losing friends.

so don't make more promises to me.

2011-07-16T01:11:00.002-06:00

Acceptance is so hard for the parents.

Calgary in a couple hours :) Need a pack for an overnight journey.

You'll be that girl

2011-07-13T12:54:00.003-06:00

not really sure what I was typing. Maybe I was drunk or too tired? ahaha can't tell

But life has been pretty busy, on my day offs I am running errands - getting gifts for birthdays, finishing up my documents for school so that i ensure that i can graduate, weekly allergy injections.

Today, I'm going to some shopping. YAY! :)

Vancouver

2011-07-11T00:07:00.001-06:00

Even though the trip is a month and half away, we're also still looking for plane ticket deals, I am really excited I actually get to plan out where i want to go this time around. :)

So far, I got everything down, but i really hope we don't jam pack everyday with activities, we're so close to Vancouver, and I'm sure one day Chris and I will drive down too.
I really want this to be a chillax vacation, so I am looking forward to it, I'm only a little nervous about the fact we're staying in a Bed and Breakfast, so I am really hoping they are not serial killers or anything, but anyhow my Dad will have the address of where I'll be staying.

Actually that's a lie, we're not really close to Vancouver, we are approximately about a 12 hour away from Vancouver and a 1.5 hour plane ride. Sigh we just have way too much land head. =/

it takes much more

2011-06-22T00:49:00.000-06:00

One more ONE MORE JUST ONE MORE. (there is one more on Sunday, I will study that on Thursday) lol

Donate blood, call the clinic to book and appointment, catch up on sleep, games, drama, tv series, read manga. I don't think i will have a life. LOL

and of course go job hunting. I have never been this excited to do nothing and everything. HAHAHAH

i'm such a loser. hehe and book our tickets to VANCOUVER!!!! :)

oh school

2011-06-20T17:25:00.002-06:00

just let me go through this all in one piece.
let me pass this exam. "it's about the numbers" gosh :(
\

4 walls and a ton of notes

2011-06-14T17:52:00.000-06:00

8 more freaking days.

a couple more coffees, a couple more sleepless nights and I will be a FREE BIRD =D

can't be too happy yet. Got to hang on.

Søvnløs

2011-06-08T10:25:00.004-06:00

Sometimes a song in another language that I cannot understand makes more sense than listening to something that I actually understand.

I have been so depressed, physically and emotionally tired. I don't want to go to work or school, all I want to do is sleep.
I would walk around aimlessly forgetting things sometimes and driving home without remember how i actually got home.
It does not help that my ezema shows up when I do not have enough sleep and feeling overwhelmed, and best of all it shows up on my face. Having to deal with that, and going to school and work. Not the funnest thing to do.

Just till the end of this month, I get to just juggle one thing at a time.
Just have to get through 2 practical exams, a business presentation, 1 written provicinal exam and 2 written exams for school.

It will all be over June 26.

Sammen

2011-06-02T00:05:00.003-06:00

It still stung hurt talking about the past, we have analyzed what went wrong and what we could have done.

But relieving it 2 years later, still made me teared. It still hurt how we tore each other apart, to find ourselves, and in the end we just gave up on each other because we just could not stand each other.

Even though I wish we did not do it the way we did, I am glad we went through so much. I am not sure where we will end up now, but I hope it's for the better.

2011-05-17T23:01:00.003-06:00

A Quiz and Midterm on Thursday.
I cannot wait for it to be over, I am starting to panic a little and stressing out majorly for it.
I am awful, I tend to cry at practical exams especially when I get really stressed out.

I want to go dancing so bad. :(
Need to find new dancing friends, one has a new girlfriend, the other is unreliable because he is busy with work, and their friends are perverts. lol

After all this is OVER i am dragging my girl friends to go dancing. LOL

2011-05-11T22:57:00.000-06:00

I had one of the most amazing experience to date, I had to go to a palliative care facility to give a massage. I got clients who were over 90 years old, and there are the most amazing people I have met. Hardworking when they were young, raised their kids well, optimistic outlook and appreciative of their surrounds.

I would say I am pretty hardworking, and I can appreciate my surrounds. But I am nothing compared to what they have gone through, yes I know they have probably about 70 years of experience ahead of me. But despite their age and disabilities, some of them are amazing, allow me to hear some of their stories and letting me in to their lives.

I love what I am doing, but I don't think i can stay working in a palliative care facility.
Reality is extremely pain, and having that slapping me in the face everyday is too hard.

On another note, I am seriously beginning to toy with the idea of quitting; I lie, I guess reducing even more hours. lol

Losing control the scariest feeling to have.

kompromis

2011-05-08T00:34:00.003-06:00

I have never really thought my Dad left me to go on a holiday at the wrong time. But it has gotten really difficult for me to manage anything the last week or so. I have been leaving dishes unwashed, a whole basket full of laundry and some days I have to step on all my clothes cause I have been leaving them on the bathroom floor. I have not watered plants for a whole week and they were bone dry when I manage to give them some while this evening. (so much for knowing my plants :P )

Finding time for school and work has been so difficult and so stressful, it is an excellent test for me to see how much I can juggle. Even though it took me a couple weeks to adjust when my Mom left for Singapore, but i still had my dad to help me out with the cooking, laundry and cleaning of the house, the watering of plants, and occasionally he would help vacuum my room. I was not left with a ton of things to do.

But without my Dad doing his it has gotten pretty stressful, especially when I do not even come home for more than 7 hours a day. But I am hoping the next 3 weeks it will be easier just because I do not work as much. As much as Chris wanted to come and help me, I have been really stressed and tired, any mistake he makes will not make me a very happy camper.

I mean driving has really made my life a lot easier, it has cut my traveling time in half, but I rather be home and not go straight to work after class. *WHINES* LOL

Oh Mother's Day are will be the death of me. :(
I still have to study, do my homework and cook for the next couple days. sigh.

This is so f'ed up.

2011-04-04T14:25:00.002-06:00

How can dealing with health insurance be so freaking expensive!! I am going crazy and i feel like I'm going around in circles.

I wanted one day of one of the weekend I can't even get it?!?! I NEEDED IT! Did I not sound desperate enough in my email? Like seriously I am wondering why do I still want to work for her. She gives me so many days off in the beginning and when I actually need it, she shrugs me aside and does not give me the day off I need.

I do not get paid enough, so what if I get sent to different work shops. All of us don't get a Christmas bonus or anything after major holidays, giving us ONE CHOCOLATE taped to the card is not a bonus in case you have not noticed, yah so the managers get something, but the rest of us don't deserve it? Yah you come down and help us, but at the same time you belittle us/me by telling me everything is done wrong!

I hope you guys do realise that we only stay is because we like working with flowers,not because we like you guys at all. fts.

Argh. just a couple more months.

Written in the stars, million miles away...

2011-03-31T01:00:00.003-06:00

Has it been written out to be this way.
To endure such sudden changes, will it make me a stronger and better person?

I guess I really have got it the best out of all my siblings. I am here in Canada, with a bright future ( I would like it to think it's brighter than the sun right now). I have a wonderful boyfriend, food on the table and for now, a home to go to.

Cause worrying can be pretty useless, if I don't do something about it.
I know I am, but I am just afraid it might not be fast enough.

I hate playing predication games, I am terrible at it.

2011-03-26T02:48:00.000-06:00

Change is good, and can be great.

But this is going to be another challenge.

Cute as a Button; Shattered!

2011-03-02T23:21:00.002-07:00

So I am not really a huge nail polish person, but this season my sister showed me this nail polish I had to get, and I never get nail polish unless they are on sale. That was how much i wanted to get my hands on these!

So I used
Essie's - Cute as a button
OPI's - black shatter

They look so awesome together, I am so glad i got it! :)

Are you going to follow through.

2011-02-23T00:36:00.003-07:00

I have to study.

I have been telling myself that for the last 3 hours.

I am so tired, I don't want to do anything or go anything. I just want a week to chill out, the last time I was home for 4 days, I was sick for the 3 days I was off, I did not do anything i just sat on my bed and slept and watched drama.

This is not burnout, I think I'm just a little depress. I miss my friends and the warm weather.
I hate wearing so many layers and warming up my car. On my day off, i spent the entire day cleaning and doing laundry or experimenting with cooking (i still suck btw)

This is too exhausting, I just want to be in my room chilling out and I do nothing on my off day. Not worrying about folding laundry, or vacuuming the house, or washing dishes or ensuring that i turned off all heater and the stove.

And it's weird how I have gotten use to it, yet I am so tired. I want to go back to yoga, I miss it so bad and I have been telling myself that since I came back but I never have enough time and I miss my weekly photography sessions.

And the last thing I want for myself is to STOP falling sick, I am so exhausted from being sick. I am sick of being sick that I went dancing when I was sick and I got my poor friend sick. lol.

electropop.

I can't wait to go out of town, I can't wait to be done and chill.

yeah..

2011-02-15T16:10:00.003-07:00

It was Valentine's Day yesterday, and I worked for 10 hours and Iwent home and grab some stuff i baked for the guy.

Honestly we never do Vday, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere for Valentine's. I'm not bitter nor angry, I just don't see the point. What is the big deal about it?

It is one day out of the 365 days that flowers are triple the price, and food has a Valentine's Day menu.

I went over to his place, talked for about an hour and I fell asleep in the middle of the conversation, he was trying to get me out of his bed to watch TV but to be honestly I rather not leave the comfort of his bed to watch TV. I was so tired the second my head hit his chest I fell right to sleep - I have been doing for the last 5 days.. haha

When I work such long hours and days, I really appreciate him just doing stuff for me, warming up my food and getting my utensils for me because I am so lazy and tired, and making him get all my drinks and letting me sleep. I swear if he was a total idiot and want to go out for dinner on Vday I would not be dating that guy.. ahah :P

I GET OVERTIME!! Finally going to take my English class and buy myself a nice pair of jeans!

don't you know it takes more

2011-02-09T00:59:00.002-07:00

I have been sick for a few days and I was stuck with this insane horrible face allergy, so I stayed at home for 4 days.
But I'm good and it's back to work and school for me tomorrow, today was the fourth day and I was pretty weird out, I was just wandering around my house, I felt so lethargic and restless.

It has been a while since I have so many days off, and I also did all my laundry and cleaning yesterday so I did nothing today, which was just odd. BLAHH I am being like my workaholic dad.

--

I wish I was strong back then, and smarter too.

But I have never been happier. :)
My life have never been in so controlled and so supported, I don't think I can ask for anything more now - I guess the only thing I want now is to get my diploma. :)

I think it's nice.

2011-02-02T00:21:00.002-07:00

His hair is so soft, and his eyelashes are so long and flirty.
I'm sick, but well enough to want to run my fingers through his hair, I'm jealous, of his soft hair, it's so fluffy and bouncy.
He always falls asleep whenever I do that, so silly and cute..

I'm not even going to deny it, I'm quite needy when I'm sick or on my menstrual. I'm wearing Chris's hoodie to sleep.. I never do that on a regular day.
I feel so oozy and dizzy.
This is no fun, I have full shifts at work and school too.

It's Chinese New Year and it's almost Valentine's day, why must a cough/sore throat come now. blah.

sore throat = inflammation = most of the time I get a fever = I can't do anything but stay in bed.

blahhhhhh.

Sweetest deal

2011-01-27T23:16:00.003-07:00

When you work so much, you lose yourself, at least this is how I feel. I was flipping through the photos through my phone, I have so many photos of flowers, I feel like I am looking at the same thing over and over again.

It's not a good thing when it's constantly on replay.

Not everyone works the same.

2011-01-17T20:02:00.005-07:00

I am excited yet not? hahah
I don't know, I almost want to jump to the end of 2011 and see what happened.

You know when you run so much that you want to puke, i almost feel that way about Massage Therapy right now.
I feel so scare about it, I am not sure where I will end up going, I just want to keep on studying, I want to study everything and nothing. Yes I don't make any sense now, even I'm confused about myself sometimes.

Some days I wonder why am I studying it here, why couldn't I have just gone to BC or Ontario to do it, there are one of the most advance places; and the opportunities to upgrade are endless to be right now, especially in the east and west coast, somedays I feel like I am missing out on what I really want to learn. And of course there are days I feel like a city girl and the city is where I truly "belong" - somewhere chaotic and crazy. Just like my life.

But now I think about, at every turning point of my life of my suppose turning point, I always do something to change it.
I never made it to Sec 4, because I know i was leaving, so I did not study like I should. Imagined if I had stayed, I think I would have had to repeat Secondary 3 again.
In grade 12, the year I was supposedly suppose to graduation in 2009, I begged to stay one more year, because I did not have the credits and I was placed in the wrong grade cause my parents thought I was ready.

Now this again, some days I am not sure if I am sabotaging myself, I wish I know.
I have always believed that things happen for a reason; maybe in this case, is the chance to be ready for this world to prove myself for myself; even if it is not going to stop for me, I will make it stop in my own way so I will be ready for this. Ready for this in my own way.

So electric.

2011-01-13T20:34:00.001-07:00

I got to stop forgetting to eat. lol

Ah, i can't wait to go dancing.

keep going.

2011-01-09T22:01:00.003-07:00

Having too much snow or a flood? I can't decide which is worse, also I have never been though a flood.

I got stuck in the snow twice today, once infront of my house, second 4 houses away from my house. Excellent.
I had a truck pull my car out from the snow (nope, no picture from it, I felt so embarrassed from it and so grateful someone was there to help me out :))
I did not go out of my house today, I had no work and I was a little traumatized from last night.

sigh.

I really should study soon, I have been watching nip tuck recently. :P

1000 words.

2011-01-04T00:43:00.001-07:00

Do you know the desperation of wanting to have more money? This is so frustrating and tiring.

Anyways, I have a day off tomorrow! Wuhoo :)
School starts on Wednesday
Thursday and Friday back to work.

A New Year :)

2011-01-01T02:06:00.003-07:00

I wish I felt a more when the clock tick 12, but it is just another day in another year.

I had a long and nice chat with a friend I have not seen for years. It was nice catching up over MSN. I cannot wait to see Derek and some of my other buddies, I have not see them since Halloween, I think I am in need for a serious catch up with my friends.

A nice long chat was a good way to start the new year.

I have not had any goals in the new year, and I don't plan on setting any. I know if I really want to do it, it will get done and I will make it work.

Close enough

2010-12-31T00:52:00.001-07:00

Happy New Year Eve! :)

This year has been long and bitter sweet.
It was a fun ride, and I would not have it any other way.

Kind deeds.

2010-12-30T01:24:00.002-07:00

I was at work yesterday, and there was a note saying there is only 47 more days till Valentine's Day. fml.
I'm exhausted.

I think we'll be going to Vancouver during Spring break!! Going to teach Chris how to bargain and be Asian. haha

painted nails.

2010-12-28T01:09:00.003-07:00

I have no patience for crowded parking lots, malls or streets. I think I will stay at home from now on.

where we go, nobody knows.

2010-12-27T02:07:00.004-07:00

I PASSED!!! LOL I cried and lost so much weight for one stupid course. lol

Anyways, I am super excited to head back to school this coming January, I think I really do love school. I got a couple upcoming decisions to make before summer. sigh..

blueberry lotion.

2010-12-21T01:02:00.001-07:00

I realise the cold gives me a massive headache and vertigo. blah.

can i tell you, last night really blow my mind.

2010-12-19T01:13:00.002-07:00

Is paying for school and my own transport not enough? Providing me with a car to drive and giving a roof over my head has really put me in a position that I am unable to do anything about, I am not able to support myself yet.

I am in a normal sound relationship, with a wonderful person, I am not in a mentally or physically abusive relationship. Is race so important? Cause it is such a shame, and why the fuck do you have stereotype a race? Why it is so easy for you guys to judge who I date and who I chose to be with?

You guys fucked up your marriage and continues to be in this disgusting mess, don't put any of your crap onto me.

I want to be happy and deserve to date whoever i chose to.

Home sick?

2010-12-17T00:51:00.002-07:00

Same old shit, just a totally different month and year.

I am so freaking bitter this Christmas season.
Maybe it was a bad move on my part to head back during the winter season, escaping it for only a month when there is another 4 months of it really sucks. Not to mention, we only get about 8 hours of day light.

This is not hard, I have been through worse. I don't know why am i complaining, I have a job, I have a roof over my head, yet everything seems so annoying.

it's 4am. I think it's the stress talking.

2010-12-14T03:59:00.002-07:00

6 Months ago i was suppose to graduate, I would have a job that would pay me so much more than this one.

I would not be scrambling for money every time i go on a holiday, It would not have to dig out that money I have set aside.

I want to graduate with this diploma so bad. Yes this economy is stuck between a shit hole and somewhat of a recovery phase. But I will have one less thing bothering me, and one more thing to work towards to. (which is my online degree)

$12.50 an hour was enough if I was in High School, and not paying 2 to 3 grand a semester, phone bill, medical insurances, medications and all sorts of "fun" stuff.
I am so tired, I have been there for 4 years, I want a change. I really cannot wait.

2010-12-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

at least I have tried.

Saying.

2010-12-13T01:07:00.004-07:00

If everything in this world was given to me when i asked for it. I would not work this hard for what I think I deserve to have.

I need to get back to my normal routine.

I need to say hello to Laundry, experimenting with my cooking and baking, working because I need the money and money to go to school.
Of course, seeing my friends again. lol

Hi jasper. :)

sigh

2010-12-11T18:38:00.003-07:00

I have never felt so over whelmed over school and work after a trip.

I am tired. Even more tired, I feel like I need to break away from everything.

The first thing I saw in my room, was over a dozen mails; from the banks. school and loans.
I don't even want to look at any of those.
Who knew going on a trip can be this exhausting when I reach home.

Yes, though I do hate travelling with my parents, but the fact they kept everything in check made my life alot easier.

I need to make a couple phone calls.

no one knows.

2010-11-15T12:21:00.002-07:00

It has been a good 5 years, why did we meet up, cause I did not want to be rude. Honestly I also wanted to see how he was doing. Of course, I was just plain stupid. ha. ha.

Who knew it can be so exhausting, it was like having an extra arm. I feel like cutting it off, I was glad we did not sit down, eat and do those dumb ass small talk stuff, I don't think I can do it. The entire time we hung out, I barely ate anything.

Going out with 10 friends at the same time is probably not as exhausting, I took so many bathroom breaks to just give myself a break. I do not have an ounce of feelings left for him, but oddly it was just so unnerving to be around him. I think I'm just weird. lol

In the end, I saw how he was doing, and I am speechless. I guess life does have it's way of putting things in it's place.

Other than that, i am having a marvelous time here. The humidity was not very welcoming, but the heat was. Do I make sense? haha

I eat an average of 4 meals a day, I am being bought to awesome places to eat, and my friends have been so generous with their time with me, I am so grateful for their company! :)

I have 24 days; I sound like I am going to die the minute I step foot onto Canadian soil. lol

We find the reasons.

2010-11-01T03:01:00.002-06:00

Breathe.

I hate flying, more specifically I hate flying alone.

I'll be okay, I just have to pack.

Tell me baby am I too late?

2010-10-31T01:06:00.001-06:00

I just got to keep on pushing.

it was suppose to

2010-10-27T00:40:00.002-06:00

be so much easier.

I am freaking out now. I hate school.
And yes, I am bitter, I am annoyed and I am seriously beginning to think I am cursed or something.

Back to the books, and I can only study so hard that I get a good mark on my final now. :(

Take a bullet

2010-10-26T00:31:00.002-06:00

Just thinking about seeing my own mother, I feel so exhausted. I can already hear the nagging/chants she is going to say.

I am going to bring 2 suitcases, one is going to be filled with shoes and the other is going to be filled with cosmetics. That is how I roll. LOL

I have so many things to do and pack before i leave, I am about to go crazy. I am going to come up with the list tomorrow. I don't want to go head to work tomorrow, I want to sleep in and finish my homework.

morning shifts - I wanna nap after work; evening shifts, it gets pitch black by the time i leave.
Either way i don't want to do anything. fml.

soup overload. :)

2010-10-24T23:31:00.002-06:00

I love sleeping, those who know me well, knows I love naps and I can fall asleep in a heartbeat in (almost) any conditions. But i think I like naps the best when I get to cuddle with someone, and I get to fall asleep in his arms. :)

I am getting super pumped now! :)
8 more days :D

Out there

2010-10-22T00:58:00.002-06:00

I miss dancing. - I got to stop whining about that. it's not like I never get asked, it's cause I can never make it.

I have done it all before, got home at 3am and waking up at 8am hung over and making it to work at 9, for a 8 and a half hour shift. It's sick, I hate doing it that is why I chose not to go this weekend, yet I am whining. =.=

I have been having lots of dreams lately, I think I am getting excited. lol
I am going to stuff my face when I get there, I have tons to do and see. :)

YAY! LOL

But I have to go dancing before I head back, I miss my clubbing buddies already. (minus gab). LOL

studying

2010-10-18T13:34:00.004-06:00

Am i studying enough? why are my grade this way?

Maybe I slack off more than should.
I wish i have more discipline when i study. Maybe I could be a med student? ha. ha.

If only i had half the brains of Hermione. lol

So stay.

2010-10-16T02:11:00.002-06:00

We maybe heading to California next year :)
I am super excited :)

actually, nevermind, he will probably change his mind. lol

Just let me go through school fine, I don't think I can take another blow to intelligences.

Pencils and pens

2010-10-12T00:56:00.002-06:00

Yay for family dramas.

Just.

2010-10-09T00:48:00.002-06:00

I am about to scratch all my hair out.

I am almost out of medication and that is going to cost me another $183.
I hate you alberta, i hate you allergies. Now if that allergy appointment would move up to next week that would be excellent.
That is like my whole month's of food and shopping. =.=

Who knew work can be so stressful, it's only flowers right? ffffff offf people.
In fact I will be so happy to not see flowers for a month.

I'm going to a wedding, it is not even my own wedding. HOW CAN IT BE STRESSFUL!?!?!?
Oh yah, let's see I need to decide on how i want to do my hair - now that my hair is long; do I want to curl it or would i want to straighten it?
What colour eye shadow should I wear? what shoes do I want to wear? My nude pumps or wedges?
So D has bought his the colour of tie to match what I am to be wearing, so i can't change my mind now? Yah he can go naked, I'll just pretend not to know him. LOL

My advance road test next week - ARGHH >_<

Stats MIDTERM!!! >_<

I need to breathe and go for more yoga.

the world at night

2010-10-05T01:43:00.001-06:00

if only the world operated at night.
Do you know how perfect my life would be? for me at least, and my siblings.

I start at 11pm not 9 am.

if only.

future and the moment.

2010-10-03T22:21:00.002-06:00

I have no idea what has gotten to me lately.
I have been unable to keep my room clean no matter how hard I try, my head is always swarming with thoughts and things to do and get done.

It is so hard to stay and be in the moment, can't there be a middle ground of being in the moment and being in the future.

Only a month!! :) I am super excited :)

Silly thoughts.

2010-09-29T23:06:00.002-06:00

Missing someone is a part of loving them; if you're never apart, then you'll never know how strong your love really is.

stolen from : raindropsonredroses

It will always been a test when one of us goes away for holidays or conferences. I hate the phone calls, the thoughts that will linger, I hate chatting, and the worse of all I hate missing.
I can't wait for him to arrive at the end of the month.

Eggo :P

2010-09-27T11:36:00.002-06:00

I have not been to a wedding in 13 years! lol
So it has been a while, so I am excited to be attending a wedding in the upcoming month.

but right now I can't believe how fast October is coming by.
I am freaking out a little bit.

nothing like you have ever seen before.

2010-09-24T01:40:00.002-06:00

I have so many songs from last year that i should take off my playlist.

"there's no one here to break me or bring me down" You and I, Medina ft. Deadmau5

Laundry Day tomorrow.

If only.

2010-09-19T23:40:00.001-06:00

And you know the thing is, if you have to stop and ask yourself "is it really worth it?" is probably isn't.

source:runawaytrain

Ha. ha.

2010-09-19T00:17:00.000-06:00

paranoid.

Too much coffee?

2010-09-16T00:48:00.003-06:00

I am destine to go to post secondary for at least 10 years. Diploma, Degree, Another Diploma?

sigh.
But first I have to push through this degree. lol

and right now I have to get better.

Let's dance

2010-09-13T22:42:00.002-06:00

poop. Sick again =.=

I have been going into work for the last 5 days, tomorrow will be my 6th day and I finally have a off day :D
I am super excited, I finally get to wipe down everything that I have touched, throw all my towels and sheets into the laundry and vacuum down my house.
And I am going to do some stats homework lol

tae yannggg

♥

And D is coming back sometime this week, I want to see what surprised he bought back with him this time he went to Vancouver. Apparently it is really funny? lol

I miss clubbing..

you'll know.

2010-09-06T01:05:00.002-06:00

"If you're too busy to call me,
I'll understand
If you don't have time to check on me
I'll understand
If you're late on your date.
I'll understand.
but if i stop loving you
it's your turn to understand"

-imkatdoguiles.tumblr.com

2010-08-31T21:00:00.001-06:00

UGHH i hate PMS.

I want hugs and cuddles.
gosh that is so needy. =.=

baby you're so beautiful

2010-08-26T00:04:00.003-06:00

Sometimes you just got to grow out of it, smarten up and face the people whom you do not embrace.

Things around the house has been getting easier, I do chores weekly and so far my Dad has not complained - though I think we need to replace that 20 year old vacuum cleaner.

:)

plans and bubble tea

2010-08-22T00:24:00.003-06:00

It's not a funny story, but I thought I will still blog about it..

D. and I were out the other day for a late night bubble tea a couple days ago, he was driving me home and I suddenly blurt out I was going to the Mall on Tuesday with my girlfriend.
(cause you know I am so random that way)

So he was joking ask me, : So do you know what road you're going to take?; What you're having for breakfast?; What time you're going to get there? ; where are you going to have lunch?
I was of course laughing like a manic when he was asking those questions, and after/in between laughters I told him I actually know all the answers to those questions you asked.

He kinda went WTF? lol

I know I sound like a nut case, but I hate having nothing to do on my day off.
Having a plan is also nice so I know I can get done.

I am currently nuts about bubble tea like NUTS over it. lol

here I stand

2010-08-17T13:09:00.003-06:00

Life in school has been less than kind this year.

Ooo i just can't resist

2010-08-10T23:50:00.005-06:00

There are days I just have to thank Gab.. I don't think I would have been tidy or neat if not for her. I have gotten like a cleanliness thing from her and now every week I clean the bathroom and vacuum the floor on my days off. - I know my Dad is definitely not complaining since i even iron his clothes.

And I even got full control of the laundry now, cause I got pissed at my Dad for mixing white and coloured clothing.. =.=

2 day offs I hardly think that is enough time for me to breathe.

I went dancing last week, and a photo of my friends and i were selected to be posted online!! Wuhoo! :) That was pretty awesome!
Chris was going to join us that weekend, but he had work to finish... :(

:)

2010-07-29T00:06:00.002-06:00

Spent the last 2 days on my room and is almost done.. of course not without the help of Gab :))))

Will post pictures when I am not too lazy LOL

Gotham Asylum

2010-07-26T01:22:00.003-06:00

This is where we want to put.. the she-you-know-who.

If we had such dsyfunction life, I think maybe our grades in school would be better.
I would not want to escape to Hogwarts
My sister would not want to go enlist in the starfleet
And my brother would not.. my sister and I have not decided where to send him. LOL

if only those places exist.

cars..

2010-07-25T10:49:00.003-06:00

I was driving my friend's mercs the other day..
Man it is really a luxurious car, everything about it is AWESOME! ahah
I love how much I can control his car, I don't accelerate at crazy speed and I feel like I am not driving like a turtle.
Brakes were super soft and noise free.
Seats were amazing and ADJUSTABLE to my height... and there are seat warmers!! heheh
Changing gears were so so so easy, I don't have to pull it like I do with mine. LOL

I want one. LOL

I have driven infiniti and it way to heavy for me. I feel like I am moving a truck, and acceleration is so scary cause there are days I step on my gas way too much.
It's beautiful but it's not my kind of car. ahhah

Type Talk

2010-07-23T15:11:00.002-06:00

When I thought it was going to get a little easier, everything just got more complicated and demanding.

His Virgo personality is driving me insane, I am not a maid and I am not going to clean like his scorpion partner. If he wants me to, I am first of all going to throw everything that deems useless and ugly and replace them with something that actually looks pretty and clean looking.

Paul and Joe - Alice in the Wonderland Set

2010-07-22T19:59:00.011-06:00

It was my sister's birthday a couple weeks ago, we usually get each other gifts even though we're not living in the same country. My mom was heading back to Singapore, I thought it would be perfect to give her something that is Limited Edition in the world of Makeup.

Beauty Junkie In West Edmonton Mall carries Paul and Joe, both my sister and I love the packaging of Paul and Joe!, it's gorgeous, classy and the limited edition stuff are usually cute!
So I thought it would be prefect to get her Alice in the Wonderful Set. Since she got it already, I thought I would post some pictures!! :))))

The extremely cute casing! I love it, I almost wanted to keep it. :P

The Box, even the box looks adorable :)

The Lip treatment. I tried it in the store and it is extremely sheer, there is absolutely no colour to it.

Blotting Sheets

Sinking

2010-07-21T22:33:00.003-06:00

Another chapter has began..

I sat on the floor wondering how to handle all these new responsibility.

It's too fresh, too new. I'm kinda scare, I wish i was a little more excited.

Being in this family, changes are not gradual, it happens overnight.

I bet if I give it all.

2010-07-20T22:30:00.001-06:00

It's awesome to have awesome friends!

I finally know how to PROPERLY parallel park and reverse park!! :)

Everyone always needs a little support! :)

2010-07-18T00:27:00.000-06:00

This is getting so stressful.

2010-07-17T01:38:00.002-06:00

Cooking.

Cooking books
Online recipes
Gabriel
Call My Mom all the way in Singapore
Dad

I am FAIL at cooking. AHHHHHH

Sigh.

2010-07-08T23:53:00.001-06:00

I feel like i have not accomplished anything in my life.

Changing events.

2010-07-08T00:06:00.002-06:00

I love having the weekdays off to myself.
Back to work tomorrow..

I just can't imagine it now, I am kinda stressed out.
Working full time, preparing my own breakfast, lunch and dinner, going for yoga, taking classes to finish my degree once my loan comes in, and potentially looking for another job, and doing laundry and chores.

Not to mention, i want to pit in to help with the bills, and paying for my own gas and insurance.
Going back end of this year almost seems impossible.

I feel like throwing up.

Off to watch more Tae Yang goodness to drown that out now.

This is how summer rolls.

2010-06-27T00:48:00.002-06:00

I think I will need a break from this clubbing summer moments.

I have been tipsy and drunk far too many times this month, I have danced till my feet hurts and I have drunk till I can't feel anything on my skin.
I am just thankful I have awesome good drinker friends who makes sure I get home safely.

Too many crazy moments and stories to tell.
Good company, crazy drinks = Good times. :)
I am ready to rock and roll, but I will need to rest a little. :P

I will need to get a pair of shorter heels. lol

Got my blueprint

2010-06-21T01:50:00.002-06:00

On an average it takes about 20 minutes for most people to fall asleep.

I have the ability to fall asleep in about a minute. I can fall asleep faster if I am cuddling with someone and feeling extremely tired.

sigh. it is awesome to fall asleep at quickly, but sometimes it's not.

I have been working lots, and I have been hearing the same music on the radio all day long. I want to be back in school again and have a life.

This free fall..

2010-06-16T02:29:00.003-06:00

So I have been transferring songs to my blackberry recently since I have like 7gb of space, while browsing through my songs I can't even remember what I downloaded, I had no idea I had so many songs that in my computer. =.=

I am excited for tomorrow's yoga. My girlfriend can't come with me, but I think I need this than company. :)

Allergics

2010-06-15T01:36:00.001-06:00

sigh. Back to the old routine again.

I can braid my hair now ^-^

You tempt to hide and put mistakes aside

2010-06-12T01:17:00.002-06:00

I was never here to begin with, you never had me to start with.
Such a tiny fragment of my memory.

Moved on, and I left you cold.

2010-06-11T02:12:00.002-06:00

There are too many plans spreads out infront of me.

Some days I am not even sure what I have accomplished.

I am not a perfectionist, but somedays I wish I was. Maybe I would have gotten a scholarship or earned an award.

But I would never sleep or have a life with my friends.
Being a little bit of both is nice. :)

Check, Check, Check

2010-06-09T15:47:00.002-06:00

I feel like I am paying back for the emotional abuse I put myself through last year.
I have never had that many follow ups, check ups, and medications since I was 5.

It was so cold and wet today, I really feel so stupid that I did not bring my umbrella. It's a little different if it was snow.

I love rain in Singapore, because it was warm.
Rain in Canada is cold and bone chilling. I could see my breath as i breathe while walking. lol

Among the cluttered

2010-06-06T00:13:00.003-06:00

I think I have been up too long, I feel sick and dizzy.

I had probably the most exciting yet annoying day ever.

It started at 1 in the morning, i got lost while going to pick up my brother.
I hate being lost and I do not get lost very often, I almost cry cause I could not find his friend's place.
He had to walk to a common place where I know, and I hit the curb 2 times cause I thought I was never going to come out of that maze.
Google map did not show the right address and my blackberry's GPS sucked last night and I keep thinking some car is going to hit me because I kept on reversing. blah.

My Dad yelled at me when I got home, I went to pick Ron up and I still got yelled.

Because I was so disturbed about being lost, I had recurring dreams about the same route I took over and over again. So when I woke up I felt like I did not even sleep.

Work was amazing till the last 10 minutes. My co worker and I were running late and some lady on her menopausal year was bitching/yelling at me saying I had horrible customer service when there was another customer in the store. =.=
I told her when she needed help she can just holla at me, because I was busy finishing inventory for the main store, and when she finally picked out something she said to me "Are you going to help me or not? because I can take my business somewhere else!"
Yah I don't wish to see you again, maybe come back when you get laid. Oh nevermind, don't even come back, my co workers and I don't need your attitude.

And in Final Fantasy it reflected the craziness of my day, because I defeated the second boss with ONE SHOT!! MUAHAHAH

Rainy days

2010-06-04T01:23:00.001-06:00

Summer when are you going to come? :(

I hate it when my extremities get icy cold, and i have to depend on car heaters.

The past.

2010-05-28T10:57:00.004-06:00

It is always so interesting to hear from the ex. :)

It has been almost 6 years, we have both moved on and we're both have our own lives.
It was nice catching up..

I was just thinking about superficial last summer was. It was a good lesson on my part, I was forced to do a lot of growing up and see clubbing side of humanity. :P

:(

2010-05-28T01:31:00.000-06:00

If only money would just fall.

Lights off

2010-05-26T00:33:00.002-06:00

I should blog more, I totally forgot I have a blog. lol

Argh I need to clean my room, it looks so pack-ratty in here.

I'm medicating again, I am not abusing, if you see the state I am in, you would prefer me if I was on my medication. Those stupid white things, it is flying everywhere, just when my allergies are getting better those things are flying around.

I need to go shopping for a gift. :) i totally forgot about it.

Feeling it.

2010-05-24T23:34:00.002-06:00

It's one thing to where my trigger points, it's another to treat it myself. lol

I better your loving, I better find your heart

2010-05-21T17:05:00.001-06:00

Summer is here, it's raining instead of snowing.

O.o

2010-05-13T00:20:00.004-06:00

So I was not as sick as I look, but from the looks of all the trips to doctors, I might as well be sick every month.

So far,

I have had seen my family physician 3 times
Xrays - 2 times (1. for my nasal cavity; 2. for my lungs/chest)
Blood drawn - once
Immunization - 3 times

In the following few months,
I have another dose of Vaccine
I have to go for another blood test
I have to see an ENT (Otolaryngology) after being put on 4 different medications and non of them work.

I love Canada Health Care, if I were to honestly pay for all of these, I would not go to ANY of it. lol
I swear I'm not as sick as I sound either. lol

searching for something that is already found

2010-05-10T23:56:00.002-06:00

Back to reality, I cannot describe how happy I am.
It was Mother's Day and I don't remember how I got through it, but I did.
5 days straight, over time and coming in early for work. Bunching, picking calls, putting through orders..

I actually have a ton of things to get done by the end of this week. :)
I am excited and ready..

$_$

2010-05-07T12:02:00.001-06:00

I need more money.

Weee~ :) I am going to collect my Lady Gaga tickets next week!! :)

I'll kiss you between the ears..

2010-05-05T01:08:00.001-06:00

There is always Plan C and D. :)

When I'm with you, I dare not speak

2010-05-02T01:10:00.003-06:00

When I choose what was best for me, I did not brace myself for what I had to deal with, or who I had to face.

Nights like these, I should be out dancing.

2010-04-25T17:31:00.001-06:00

I'm mopping, it honestly feels like the end of the world.

Trade in the world, to show the world I'm falling

2010-04-25T00:53:00.003-06:00

Today I retired my trusty Sony Ericsson, I has gone through an entire year of abuse with me. Endless phone calls and text messages.
I loved the way you texted and the way you sound when you rang, but I have found a new love..

Hello Blackberry Tour 9630, I'll try my best to not treat you the way I treated my Sony.. but as they say I only do it because.. "I love you"

Honestly I wish having a Blackberry would cheer me up right now, failing a class in my second last semester really suck balls. Appeal here I can.

Heading off to Fido to get Data included into my plan.

Just..

2010-04-24T01:54:00.002-06:00

I was so busy and stressed out studying for finals for the last week and a half. I almost forgot I got a blog.

Now to do things that i actually find FUN... Next 2 week's schedule is going to look pretty crazy with a birthday party, volunteering and the up coming mother's day! and of course the new Spring Term!

I am almost graduating, I cannot believe it!! weee~ :)